Some would call me nuts for desperately wanting a job and my husband would probably kill me for using ice cream as a metaphor. Don’t get me wrong, my hubby is great and I assure you he is not like one of those “if you get fat, i’ll divorce you types” but rather lovingly trying to help me get the hot toned body I crave. I have absolutely no self-control.

Speaking of hot…ice cream is so good when it’s scorching hot out and you wouldn’t believe it but, it is scorching hot here. And we live literally live a hop skip and a jump from a Baskin Robbins. Every time we are out…the undisciplined question, “How about a little ice cream?” slips right out.

But, my caring hubs never caves in and keeps the car in motion back to the house. Back to the house where the TV commercials are constantly showcasing those darn drumsticks and the TV shows that make food appear totally enjoyable and that it will NOT make you look like a lumpy dog turd in a swimsuit. Yesterday, it was Seinfeld. Elaine was fasting for 3 days in order to get an X-Ray. She ended up inhaling a Drakes coffee cake. Talk about satisfaction!

Today it was Tyra. Did you know tiny food is in. Evidently, miniature cupcakes are so “in” this season. There is even a such thing as a miniature cupcake maker! Get it while it’s hot people!  And please just tell me how you just eat one or two of these suckers? Yes, they are so cute and fun, they suck! BTW, if any of my friends or family read this, I’d love a few hundred of these at my baby shower….I’m not saying I’m preggers, but one day I will be. Moving on….

In this cream of the ice battle, I’ve been working out. I started the week with some cardio, the next day weights, but my bad ass self went all buck wild and decided to join a new Nashville friend to her Zumba class that very same day. Do you even know how intense that class is? Yea, I had no clue! An entire song was dedicated to squats. Needless to say, I am hurtin from a squatin.

My biggest challenge will be this weekend: Rum poolside, barbecues and a movie night…

The past two weeks have been bombarded with every kind of work stress you can think of, but I guess you will have that from time to time with a part time job following a full time job next to preparing for a wonderful vacation you just can’t help but think about.

I woke up Friday knowing it was going to be the end of the stress…or so I thought.

There was a conference call at 10:30 in which I prepped for the afternoon prior, the only thing I needed to do was print 2 more copies of a report for my coworker, Luke and I and we were ready for our phone call.

It’s necessary for you all to know that we completed 3 reports in 4 days. These reports usually take a day each on my behalf not including the time it takes for Luke to complete his sections. These reports were read several times for misspellings, errors and not to mention the correct client names on the correct report (this has definitely happened and is probably one of the worst things that could ever happen when presenting a report to a brand new shiny client).

We sit down and before the call the first thing I say to Luke, “I am not even looking at this report any more because if I see any errors, I am going to be so mad” I know what you’re all thinking…I am such a bad ass! For real, I totally sound like the biggest dweeb, but I was so serious. There is nothing worse than going over a report with a client and finding an error in the process.

Luke, begins to look at the report and says, “I see the first error.” Written in the first sentence of the “March” report is “February.” But that’s not all…he goes on to notify me that another clients name is mentioned in the next paragraph with that clients statistics for March! I begin to say, Oh my god, flip through a few more pages and now see that every other page is a different report. OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! What do I do?!?!?! Luke says, “Call Sarah!” Why would I do that when she along with the president of the company I work for is sitting with the client 30 seconds away from calling us on the other end.

I run back to my office still saying, “OH MY GOD, OH GOD, OH GOD….” I pass a few people on the way who can’t help but wonder what the hell is going on…a brief explanation…and from their reactions — This is bad! But everything will be OK — does not make me feel better, but rather makes me want to cry at this point. Honestly, I could have thrown up!

I call Sarah three times, of course no answer and proceeded to my desk where I realize, I PRINTED THE WRONG DAMN REPORT! This report was like two drafts prior to the final PDF’d report. I could have died, but the relief was finally there.

Then I start to think about Luke! He was still in the conference room waiting for the call or for all I know perhaps even in the call at this point in a panic, because he still thinks the report is the best report ever!

I quickly try to print the correct report. Of course, the printer is taking FOREVVVER! The last page decides not to print and everyone in my department can hear me get violent with the printer. It finally prints, and I run upstairs to find Luke with the look of horror ready to break the news of my resignation until I silently break the news first. He said…”Oh thank god!

As you have read, there was a lot of god talk and I am not a very religious person, but I do however praise the gods from above when I encounter a near death experience. These few moments of pure dumb ass would definitely classify as a “near death experience.”

To my favor, the client loved the results and our hard work more than payed off! Friday ended well and I was officially a happy dumb ass!

If there is one bit of advice I can give in a situation like this it would be to plan ahead and make sure you eat something before you FREAK OUT so if you do throw up, it’ll make the process a lot easier.

The results are so amusing I found myself lol-ing in my car by myself...

While I was driving to work this morning, I was listening to 99.5 Chicago Country Radio hoping to hear an Alan Jackson favorite or Chris Young’s new song. Though I didn’t hear much music, Rambin Ray and Lisa Dent amused my drive when talking about a study performed by Retrevo called a “Gadgetology study“.

This particular “Gagdetology study” surveyed 450 iPhone users and Blackberry users to determine their dating habits. The results are so amusing I found myself lol-ing in my car by myself mostly because I have been considering the switch from my BB to an iPhone. Hmmm…is it worth my marriage?

The survey found:

• 35% of iPhone users find it a “turn off” if a potential partner had an old, out of date phone.
• 1/3 of iPhone users admitted texting someone to break-up with them.
• 1 in 4 iPhone users has broken up with their partner because that person spent too much time on their phone.
• 20% of iPhone users admitted to looking at porn while BB users resulted in 12%.
• 22% of Blackberry users are a tad bit more sensitive.
• Some iPhone users prefer a partner with cool gadgets over a college degree

So…how many of you iPhone users fit these statistics? Any BB users? I want to hear details people!!!